Guest Post: Booze, Babes & Boogie

Dr Deltoid This is a Dr. Deltoid Entry. Reader discretion advised!

Word count: 695 | Estimated time to read entry: Consult Dr.Deltoid


At party

So here goes nothing……………..coming to you straight, bitchy and hard. My virgin entree into the big bad swingin world of Tapmi underbelly. I hereby promise to be your unsolicited guide and somewhat sober companion in demystifying the mundane existence of an average hostelite.

There were three things sacred to an average Tapmian: Booze, Girls and last but definitely not the least, Parties. This particular rant I shall restrict to a highly specialized sub class “Girls in Parties”.  😀

No Tapmi legend can ever be complete without the “Chakravyuh” of dancing girls. This was an infamous circle comparable to “ring of fire” as the active Volcano Islands in the Pacific are termed. It was pretty impossible for a guy to penetrate this exclusive society unless he slipped on some beer dropped on the floor and happened to stumble in. The poor guy already half drunk would suffer from Abhimanyu complex at the sight of several “Mata Hari’s” 😮 rapidly shimmying at high speed around him and couldn’t figure out how to get out. The only hope for the poor sod would be that one of them took pity on him and kicked him hard enough for him to be thrown out. The only other way was to wait for the clock to strike eleven which was the time at which the girls left for hostels. The other guys would just watch helplessly and with a shrug of shoulders, raise a toast to the trapped soul just feeling glad it wasn’t them.

Another interesting species often found was the “invisible drinkers”. These were the girls who could drink to put the best of the guys to shame but were too conscious of their image to do so openly. Hence they would dance changing partners at rapid intervals (obviously preference given to guys drinking vodka) and chug a biggish sip from each. The guy so happy that some female form was dancing with him would be in a trance and totally unaware that his glass was being emptied steadily. Having finished the glass she would move on in search of the next victim.

Then there were the highly beautiful/popular/hot girls referred to as “Draupadis” 😀 😀 because quite like their namesake from Mahabharata they would have at least five guys clamouring for their attention at any given point of time. Like a f***in compass, they would just turn with every beat of the song east-south-north- west and so on all night. Obviously if one of the guys was good looking or had promised to help out with the next Operations assignment, the pattern would be east-south-south-south-west-north and so on (yes the guy standing at south being the afore mentioned helpful person).

Another set of girls would be the “Angry Girlfriends Squad”. Now this was a dangerous type because they had come to the party with a one-point-agenda and that was to kick some ass. They would wait and watch until their boyfriends would have maybe one cc drink more than permitted or see him dance with some other female. When this happened, all hell would break lose with consequences varying from “getting drink thrown on face” to “A Kick in the nuts”.

Last but definitely not the least were the “Ultra Drunks” (Not to be confused with invisible drinkers). These were girls who generally never drank but were overcome by some extreme euphoria or depression to pursue this noble crusade. Once drunk it would not take long for the puking to begin and then it would turn into a game of avoiding the dragon’s fire. Like all drunk people, the girl would refuse to believe she was drunk and insist on dancing, stopping at random intervals to shower some lucky winner with “more than her love”.

I think the candle is about to die out and I have done enough damage for one night, it’s time to return to my cave. So adios friends, until next time………… Dasvidaniya.

P.S: to the intelligent reader who can guess the names of all the girls referred to above, a drink awaits at Guzzlers 🙂 😛


Opinions expressed in this entry are solely the Guest Writer’s. Read #6 in Disclaimer.

Bookmark and Share Add to Technorati Favorites RSS