Why I Delete Facebook ‘Friends’.

Word count: 705 | Estimated time to read entry: 10 min



As if I haven’t been labeled a freak for being over-organized about many aspects of my life, I had to get myself into this unimaginable habit of deleting friends from my Facebook list and make matters worse.  If that wasn’t malicious enough for you, I am sure you would appreciate that I first announce the impending doom of the special few with an update on my profile. A lot of people have asked me the double-why’s – seeking a rationale behind deleting in the first place and announcing the deletion in advance. So far, I have given brief explanations, having to live with the character limit imposed by Facebook in updates but I’d rather be over-specific about this as well. So let me categorize, label and list down the top few reasons why I do so:

Reason 1: Gut feeling. The person just doesn’t look familiar enough in the list anymore. It is like seeing your neighbor’s left slipper in a snap full of close family members. It is the odd man out.  They might have been great friends once, life-mates even, but if repeated attempts at reinitiating the magic fails, I believe in moving on.

Reason 2: Sorry circus watchers, you can’t stand back and enjoy the show. I am sure you find my updates entertaining, ridiculous, funny, thoughtful, weird, biased, inflammatory whatever. But I see some guys just stand by the gallery and watch the show safely behind the protective moat of inactivity. No updates, no comments, no responses. When it comes to such spectators, my whip cracks pretty loud and hard.  I expect some interaction here but if all you seek is some gossip material, sorry mate, try Filmfare.  Am certainly no Russell Crowe from Gladiator to roar, ‘Are you not ENTERTAINED??’


Reason 3: The man in the loo. Guys hardly known to me request to be in my list. For all I know, I once took a leak standing beside him in a public loo by the bus stand and the next thing I realize, I see his invite on Facebook. Eventually it stagnates and stinks and the best thing to do then is to flush it down the drain, aint it? Well I do get invites from unknown gals as well but hey this ‘loo metaphor’ doesn’t hold good for those instances OK??!     😉

Reason 4: Privacy! Whoa guys I said it despite being a total atheist when it comes to web privacy. There is no such thing as web privacy and the last thing to determine or govern that are improvements in policies of social n/ws that ensure additional privacy. Sorry, I determine my own privacy so I decide who stays and who goes.  I’d rather keep my door closed and locked than rely on the great new service revolvers my local police department is going gaga about, eh??

Reason 5: Inappropriateness or showiness. Some updates don’t cut well with me. Abuses and rants especially. And yea, the Einstein wannabe’s who share nothing but ‘path-breaking insight ‘by putting up links to news items, fall on the other extreme. C’mon guys if all I want is rants and abuses, I’d rather go get married, eh? :P.  And if all I want is meaning and info I’d rather eat some pages off Encyclopaedia Brit… hey wait a min, that’s obsolete, eat some pages off Wikipedia by printing it on a forest full of papers.  Repeated instances of such can tick me off.

If you look at it, these guys are all there in our everyday lives. The ones sequentially listed above are – Misfits, Gossip Mongers, Strangers, Intruders and Offenders. You normally don’t make space for such in your lives do you? Sometimes you just feel someone ain’t good enough to be with; some others only listen and spread slander without ever revealing their inner self; some don’t connect at all; some are mindlessly trying to seek your attention and some always peeve you either by their cacophonous thoughts or their extreme pseudo-intellectual showiness.  To me, Facebook is a large part of my everyday life and is probably the most important means of connecting with people and staying close to them. So when I don’t entertain such people in my ‘non-electronic’ (1) life, why should I on Facebook?

But why do I announce the deletions in advance? Well, I am just being malicious there! Go ahead and delete me! 😉

—————-

(1) I don’t appreciate the usage – ‘Real’ life. I could probably write volumes on why no one should ever call it so or alternately, why every mode of existence can be called so but I have skipped all that here as it is not relevant to this entry.

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7 thoughts on “Why I Delete Facebook ‘Friends’.

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  1. You forgot one reason. But hey, it doesn’t matter….as long as you’re happy.
    Don’t worry about me trying to ‘friend’ you on facebook…I don’t even know who you are. I can’t figure out why this blog came up in my alerts.
    Have a happy day.

    1. @moolib – i am as perplexed about seeing ur comment here as you were abt my entry in ur alerts. And as you said, as long as you are happy too, nothing matters 😉

  2. Hi Hriday,

    I think the last para says it all..
    “So when I don’t entertain such people in my ‘non-electronic’ (1) life, why should I on Facebook?”
    It is so true .. Your article is bang on… I am not even in touch with 98% of LRIS ppl. To be frank reunions used to scare me. I used to feel what I would talk to a bunch of strangers who were once upon a time known ppl in School. I enjoyed the last 2 reunions in meeting everyone.. but most of them have hardly materialised into friendship. I think I must start my bit on “cleaning up” my fb account. For all i know, I am already irritated to see that I have so called 148 friends of whom hardly 25-30 matter to me.

    1. @Shilpa – Great. “Accepting Reality” is a paradox – it is hard to accept but the moment you do, life actually becomes easy.

      I am not advocating this ‘clean up’ philosophy but it works for me. 😉

  3. I would rather like to have real friends then virtual friends…….. instaed of being in touch with friends who are no more near you…. and sit infront of net and chat…. rather go out and have nice time with friends , I have infront of my eyes…… Virtual world , a big NO .

    1. @Vani-

      I guess it is a matter of holding on to our perceptions of what is ‘real’ and what is ‘virtual’ too strongly.

      And you have really proved your point by putting in a fake email id, thereby eliminating all chances of ‘virtual’ friendship 😉

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