Word count: 990 | Estimated time to read entry: 10 min
Having studied in an all-boys religious boarding school “when it really mattered” 😉 and having remained blissfully single till date actually doesn’t qualify me to write this entry especially when compared to some of my very competent brethren who would put even Napoleon to shame with their ‘conquests’. But then, having enjoyed the view from balcony seats, one can’t help but make observations and have a few opinions. Now come on, don’t deprive me of this pleasure at least! 😉
It was in my first year of engineering that I finally woke up to this phenomenon of people falling in love. Not that I wasn’t aware of it but when your laziest of pals decides to go to the gym and then go to the library ‘to study’, you can’t help but notice Cupid’s pink arrows all over your friend’s yet-to-be-toned body, can you?
I soon learnt that the library was indeed a storehouse of information; only, the information that most people wanted was not indexed in the database and you could learn it only by hiding behind a voluminous text book and carefully ‘studying your subject of interest’ on a regular basis in the library. It took me little time to find that most of the topics of my interest were already chosen by some quick batch mates and some seniors who had haplessly toiled for one year behind this book or that. This only meant that the race had become fiercer for the next year… and you might want to re-read the first paragraph to know how I fared in that year. 😦
Now life as a single, especially when all around you are committed, is not very easy. For one, you have hardly any company to chat with in class because your friend is busy satisfying one of the over seven million ‘duties’ that inevitably come with having a new girlfriend – picking her up from hostel, completing her assignment by learning her subject if she isn’t in the same branch of engineering, buying and couriering a gift to her uncle’s cousin’s maternal grandfather for his birthday, playing the pizza delivery boy etc. Many times, you are requested to do some of this for the sake of your friend and considering you have nothing better to do anyways, you yield. I have lost count of the number of greeting cards I have selected, love letters and poems I have written and apologies I have penned and delivered in person to make situations better for my love-struck friends. For some reason, I am the universal choice for all this, perhaps because of my skill with the language and the usage of words. Considering my own luck in such affairs, it certainly is ironic but now you know what I meant by ‘balcony seats’, huh? 😉
Restaurants are the last place to go if you are single. The waiter hardly attends your table because there is nothing to ogle at and your bill won’t amount to as much as a couple’s. I couldn’t grant him his first incentive till date but I certainly proved him wrong about his assessment of my bill by eating more than any couple around, thereby gaining some respect. Needless to say, I only have all the couples to blame for my present obesity 😉 Another problem is that you can’t always stare at the carrots on your plate when you have a pair of sexy, long, well-waxed, feminine legs right in front of you. At that point, you certainly feel the latter doing more good to your eyes than all the beta carotene in carrots could ever do 😛 But that invites hostile stares from the guy sitting opposite those legs the gal. So if you are in a restaurant full of couples, all you can do is stare at the waiter and hope he hasn’t seen Dostana, first day, first show. 😮 !
The couples usually become famous and sometimes even notoriously scandalous. You can’t recognize one without the other because you are so used to seeing them together everywhere. You soon learn about their candid smooches in the libraries, their trips to forlorn beaches and sometimes interesting photographs taken in hotel rooms using cell phone cameras that come to you as attachments in your batch mail!
But then comes the time of mass exodus. The course is over and suddenly, so is the relationship! A few days ago I was surprised to know that some of the strongest, most victorious couples, determined to spend a lifetime with each other are no more together. Now having Facebook and Orkut does help in doing a sanity check on such information and having a friend who is a search expert at Google makes things much better. From what I have gathered, 90% of the couples who were once considered to rival Romeo and Juliet, either parted ways willingly or were subject to painful breakups. Looks like the ‘subjects of interest’ were after all left behind in the libraries to gather dust along with the voluminous text books. I expected a little more sanity among the relationships that bloomed among my post-graduate classmates but the success rates are far smaller! Of course I am told love has nothing to do with maturity and I have reasons to believe it is true – from my ‘balcony seat’ observation it only has to do with the number of years one spends in a particular college. And I won’t tell you of the number of break-up letters I have penned for the same guys who took away a love poem from me and had mailed it in a pink, scented envelope only a few years earlier.
There are not many college couples that went on to become marital successes. Cupid, I believe, hardly misses Mrs. his targets 😉
PS: Successful Mrs. would certainly be welcome as comments below. Now, c’mon, let’s start a database, whatsay???!!! 😉