Would my great grandson mind my 30-min showers?

Word count: 1950 | Estimated time to read blog: 0.00036 nano seconds!

For the technically challenged:

Don’t dismiss this blog because of the terms you see here. Just note that I have hyped both memory units and time – memory units are large and time is extremely small. So forget the yottas and the zeptos.

———————

It is the lordless year of 200981 AD.

3day r@m wakes up from his slumber and starts planning his day’s itinerary. He syncs up with the Solar Power Grid placed on Mars to see if he has been allocated his daily quota of power. He has been. He checks his inbox to see if he has any new mails. 754. He does a quick scan and deletes the spam, reads the personal ones first and keeps the office ones for the last – the most important of them being the one from his boss who has asked him to master some robotics related topic. The mail contains a 25 Yotta byte attachment and he goes through it completely. All this takes him 0.36 micro second.

Really ain’t a big deal if you got a partitioned brain with independent processors governing each half-lobe. The right brain is creative so he has got a processor that enables him to paint, dance and flirt and he reserves it for his personal and social purposes. The left brain being logical, he has a processor that solves complex problems, finds patterns, sifts through information and this half of his brain is dedicated to all office and professional work. Not that he ain’t a “professional” when it comes to flirting 😉 Well, what if some creativity is required at his office? In that case, he replies like Presented Bai of Channel [V] – itna paisach mein itna hich milenga!

Having a separate processor for each of your brain lobes is really cool man. Takes the least amount of time for any shit you can think of. For chaps who freak over multi-tasking, this is the thing to get. Imagine you are attending a meeting and the presenter is damn sexy. You can understand and analyze all that she is saying with your left processor and ogle at her and make plans to invite her out for lunch with your right without each disturbing the other! You are doubly efficient!

Of course, the PROM containing morals and ethics runs across both lobes and this is a government mandate. You can’t avoid it and it is inserted by the doctor even before you are spanked alive and brought into the world. So you are almost born with it.

Sitting in his office he is applying the robotics concept to some complex algorithm. Nothing is impossible now because everyone knows everything. Competitive tests have been done away with and meritocracy is a thing of the past because everybody has equal access to every single bit of info. You might have better RAMs than a few others so you might get it a zepto second earlier. Big deal, huh?

An alert prompt flashes in front of his eyes as he is working: “Call from Pete – Accept | Ignore.” He wonders which Pete this is and considers himself lucky for having such a unique name. His parents had really seen the info glut coming and had given him a name so unique that all the search engine related queries for his name would throw results pertaining to him alone.

He triggers his social processor to accept the call and one part of his brain dedicated for receiving calls gets activated. You don’t have to open your mouth and form words when the call hits your brain directly. It is brain-to-brain communication and you don’t need those old, redundant fancy gizmos called mobile phones.

“Hi 3day”, brains Pete.

“Oh hia there Pete”, 3day brains back as his brain recognizes. It is his good friend from the days, or rather, zepto seconds of electronics engineering.

“You in India right now?”

“Yea”

“Well, I got a party tonight, make sure you attend. You’ll love it”

“Oh great! What time and where?”

“Well 7:00 pm. And all folks wanted to have it in Paris. So it’s Paris”

“Damn! 7:00 pm is just 2 nano seconds away. Paris is fine but I got some things to wind up dude”

“See if you can make it. Will wait for ya. Chao” and he brains off.

Now attending Pete’s party is no big deal because of the processors. Going to Paris isn’t as arduous as it used to be because all the world is nothing but a computer generated 3D rendering and you can teleport your mind from one place to another easily. Earlier you had to lug around your entire body just to get your brain to experience a few things about the new place and people. But now, thanks to the microprocessors linked with the 3D virtual rendering of all places across the earth, physical travel is passe. Now, it takes as much time to go from Bangalore to Mysore as from Bangalore to Greenland; the only constraint is your bandwidth. Distance has collapsed and you can no more vent your frustration on the government for bad roads in your city.

What 3day is actually worried about is the power levels. Both partying and working takes a heavy toll on the processors. Since power is rationed from the Mars Solar Power Grid, he might just run a blank and might mean shut down until he gets it exactly 24 hours after he got his previous quota.

He decides to risk it. He puts his robotic algo on self propagating mode, throwing in a sub-routine to generate only critical alerts and teleports to Paris.

The party is live and happening. Takes him no time to spot a blue-haired babe dancing seductively in the corner. He runs a semantic search on her – giving descriptions as he sees her and has all info about her. She is N*ksh*t* – hmmn that’s a cool name. Her bio data, qualification and every other possible info floats in front of his eyes. And the way she is looking at him in the eye, he knows she has all his info floating similarly in front of her lovely hazel eyes. It takes both of them only a fragment of a nano-second more to know that each is interested in the other because they searched each other’s brains out. This search is possible only if the feeling is perfectly mutual and the firewalls are temporarily down to enable this.

Ok it’s fun time. They embrace each other and begin to dance. 3day looks into N*ksh*t*’s eyes and gets the shock of his life. The colors are changing from red, to blue, to black to, white. He pushes her away – damn she might be a virus! He looks at her and her whole self is turning black and white and then fuzzy. He runs a full system bio-scan and it returns normal – 0.000000 infections. The logical part of his brain throws up a critical alert with a red exclamation mark and then….piff! blank!

————–

His worst nightmare came true – he ran out of power and now with the processors totally dry he has to make do with his biological brain, which has taken over automatically. He is now in what his ancestors called “The Real World”.

Ha! He mocks his ancestors – those bloody wasteful bastards. Imagine living a life like that – having a house for yourself, wasting so much fuel on travel, inventing all crappy gizmos like television, laptops etc. Really ridiculous. And to top it all, they even went berserk over “environmental conservation to save future generations”. Save trees, save ozone layer, avoid plastic etc so that future gens also follow their wasteful example. And the amount of effort, money and resources they spent on entertainment and work was just too much. Mindless buffoons.

Little did they realize that mankind will evolve. “The trees might have vanished. So what? We live great on plastic. Our clothes are plastic and I think they are far better than those cotton Arrow shirts they used”, thinks 3day. Suits the current environment conditions. And all of that colossal space and effort wasted on travel, communication, entertainment and work is now just a small silicon molecule in everyone’s brain !

He is settled on his row and watches all the hundreds of others around him on other similar rows. It is like an MS Excel file and each has his/her own cell space. They are all plugged into the virtual world because they have power, lucky guys. He eats his vitamin dry soup – a small pack containing all the 26 essential vitamins and minerals identified by research, to keep human life going. He smirks again as he thinks of all the farm lands and restaurants that his ancestors had once maintained in the pretext of eating and staying alive. And yeah! Those crimes, wars etc that one human being perpetrated on the other – just ruled out now because every one had the same set of morals and ethics in his/her PROM. And how can one forget the healing procedures, doctors and dentists who pretended to cure/heal you. One didn’t even know if one was sick and had no way of finding out. No self-check, no auto-heal. Bah! He just couldn’t understand the world before 3000 AD.

————–

Only 2 seconds had elapsed since he had woken up from his slumber. And in that time, he had done enough work that would otherwise take 1000 man-years for his ancestors. And he had entertained himself quite a bit. Now he had to wait for another 23:59:58 hours to get his power quota replenished and considering the way time and things moved in the “real” world, it was a heck of a painful wait.

————-

Author’s note: (pinch of salt advised) 😉

First things first. This entry is certainly inspired by Neal Stephenson’s ‘Snow Crash’ that I am currently reading but I really believe in the following things:

One: is the migration of the human existence onto the virtual platform with a processor to control most mundane processes and also to assist decision making. Our life is governed by information and its processing. An IITian, for example, is considered special only because of his superior brain – in other words, superior source of information and its processing. I believe in democratizing meritocracy and making all info available to everybody. Also, I seriously fail to understand the word ‘Real Life’. Who told you what is real? Can I choose my reality?

Two: is the futility of environmental conservation. I know this is the hep thing right now and my anti stance on this issue might raise a lot of hackles, but I think it is futile. I might switch off a bulb now and turn off a tap which might help one of my great grandsons to keep his bulb and tap on for 3 more minutes, a few centuries down the line. But what the heck is a few centuries as compared to geological time? Every species and entity has its span and nothing can prevent its elimination. Environmental protection stems from man’s ego of being the most supreme creature to ever walk the earth and the desire to keep mankind alive always. So, at the root of it is pure human selfishness with a pretext of temporary sacrifice. Sorry my dear great grandson, I am headed for a 30 min shower right after posting this blog! You mind?

—————–

PS: Whew, these after-notes look like an entry in itself. Well, I have used a few subtle things in this entry most obvious of them being 3day r@m. (or is it?). Can you guess the significance of the digits in the year mentioned in the very first line? 😉 And you of course can’t get Pete, but I hope Pete will!


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9 thoughts on “Would my great grandson mind my 30-min showers?

Add yours

  1. Hey dude u sure have put a lot of effort in this one……………..do read up Michael Crichton’s book on this environmental crusade thing….i forget the title but it should be right up your alley

  2. Now this is one I feel is ur kinda work…
    Even though I dont like the way it portrays the world but good work… expecting something near present reality (generally perceived reality to be precise..)

  3. Dude……Adding to wat gadiyar said, hope you read Michael Crichton’s NEXT and STATE OF FEAR. In NEXT he talks of the futuristic maturity gene, ACMMD: Amino Carboxy Muconate Methyldehyde Dehydrogenase…… Seems ur gr8 grands@n ll have the right quantities of de gene pumped into him…..Nice read…well done mate

  4. Whoa!!!! So many things ran tangent over my head reading this !!! And did you say you need a trackback from my blog ?! Your clustermaps stats say a different story, boy !!!

  5. @snippetsnscribbles-

    expected reaction, esp from you lady!

    well, regarding the trackback, 2 things-

    1. trackback is diffnt from hits – trackback adds credibility and hence improves my page rank

    2. even otherwise, there is never a limit for hits, is there? more the better!

    PS: clustermaps stats! how did u get my map stats? or did u just go by the size of the red dots?

  6. so now you can predict my reactions….hmmmmmmm!!! 😛

    ….and yeah, ur right about the maps thingie….saw the innumerable red dots and got all jealous !!! 😛

  7. Interesting… very interesting… Your story reminded me of Arthur C Clarke’s story about Martians who come to Earth after humans and animals are extinct to study them… what they find are Walt Disney’s movie reels… It was called ‘The History Lesson’.
    Anyway… nice one… really nice one. You should get it published.

  8. @ Bul-

    Hey! long time. Thanks bul. Glad you liked it so much. Will see if i can get it published! 🙂

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