Word Count: 550 | Estimated time to read blog: 6 min
“….Moms’ minds”, is my unequivocal and resounding answer. Somehow, I feel that this is more apt an ending to the incomplete statement in the title than “heaven”.
Marriages were always a mystery to me. It all began when I as an inquisitive 5-year old kid, asked my dad, “Why are some people happy and some people sad?” And dad answered, “Because some people stay single and some people get married”. He obviously hadn’t noticed my mom entering the living room. And when he did, he said it was a joke he had read in one of the magazines, perhaps for the sake of his own happiness. 😉
Attending marriages was also a revolting idea for me. For one, like someone in my family, I didn’t quite admire silk sarees, gold bangles, extraordinarily showy feminine hairstyles, gossip etc and neither did I seek a ‘getaway from mom’ like someone else in my family. Till date, I think I have attended some ten marriages despite tantrums, tears and timely escapes. Of these, seven or more have been in Delhi because in Delhi you don’t have to actually “attend” a marriage. If there is a marriage in your locality you are automatically part of it because the music is so loud that you are quite convinced that it is happening in your own living room. Neighbors walk in and out of your house for knives, chairs, pillows and everything else that they think you can do without. It takes extreme psychic control to remain convinced that it isn’t you yourself that is entering the wedlock on every such occasion.
Considering the opinions that have been ingrained in my mind regarding marriages, it is quite difficult for me to cope up with the fact that it is now my turn. Mom has shown my horoscope to yet another astrologer who has stated the inevitable in a few, pithy words – “He’s getting married in 2010. His wife will dominate him!” Dad hasn’t stopped sniggering ever since this astrological dictum has descended on me. Mom kept shrugging her shoulders as if the truth in the statement is quite an obvious one. As for me, my palms are sweating as I type out this blog entry. I am mentally preparing to delete this and a few other blog entries that were typed out in a state of insane overconfidence arising from long-standing bachelorhood.
So my mom first planned it and the astrologer ascertained it, giving some spiritual credence to my notion about the likely place of connubial conceptualizations. Tired of battling my mom’s ever active mind and incapable of waging a war with my own stars, I am now awaiting for the noose to tighten.
But a piece of news that I read recently has got me thinking. Latest research has purportedly found that mice are a great replacement for men, making women all the more self-dependent and men all the more unwanted. If taken seriously and implemented, this research can actually shake the very foundations of matrimony. I can already imagine a futuristic scenario- a woman walking into a mall with a mouse on a leash, adept at swiping his credit card whenever the woman wants him to. But hey, wait a minute… is the scenario any different now among married couples?? 😉