My blog – A few weird observations

Word count: 1157 | Estimated time to read blog: 10 minutes

This is an entry about my own blog and no, I am not paying myself for putting this “ad” here. I have already claimed and substantiated earlier that I am quite observant, especially in matters that don’t warrant an observation. 😉

But each day when I check on my visitors, geographical hits on the map, comments, search strings that were used to land on my page etc a few things just leap at me and I find it difficult to reconcile with them. Here are some prominent ones:

 

1. Search strings – Namitha, Mallu Girls and Obese women are hot!

I made a big mistake by using Namitha’s pic in one of my previous entries. I had no idea she is such a “big” star 😉

Every day I get hits for all the wrong reasons. “Sexy mallu girls”, “heroines with no clothes” and a lot of other desperate search strings seems to point to my blog. The pic here gives you an indicative list – there is a better, more interesting list that I have saved for my own kicks and am unwilling to share 😛

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I tried entering some of these search strings in Google and to my surprise my blog is listed as far as in pages 10 or 11 and more often than not, it is even farther. Boy! Some people do go to great lengths to find what they need huh?

But the brighter side of things is that I am sure a lot of mallu girls reading this entry will be very happy. This blog is proof that they are very sought after! Overweight girls may also derive a ray of hope from these search strings. You might as well sell away your aerobics cycle and buy a PC/Laptop with that money to keep a tab on my blog entries because my blog will certainly make you feel sexier than any amount of peddling away to neverland.

2. Map – al Marhaba!

Of late, I have been receiving a lot of hits from the Land of Beef Eaters – yes, the Middle East. In spite of my geography being quite poor, I discovered that one small dot from Dubai was increasingly well, increasing. Soon, some nearby provinces picked up and it is just my guess that this is perhaps Kuwait, Abu Dhabi and other camel-loitering countries.3.jpg

My guess is that some jobless Arabs have stumbled upon my site. I think I can safely link this trend with the one about the search string anomaly mentioned above already. Yes, that makes sense considering the fact that Arabs prefer well-rounded women, including their air-hostesses. And the fact that there are more mallus in the “Gelf” than there are camels and cacti put together, adds on to my guesswork and the abundance in such search strings.

Well, I can imagine that Arab sitting with a laptop reading this entry with a wide smile across his face, his teeth flashing with all the gold studs and nuggets of beef sticking in between. I got you habeebi, didn’t I? Khaifa Halaq??

It could also be that some well-rounded women from the Gulf are reading this entry just to feel beautiful – Mallu or otherwise. To them, all I have to say is “Yes ladies, you are beautiful. Ask any Arab passing by and he will tell you that. If you don’t believe them look into the mirror; buy another one and keep them both side-by-side in case you can’t admire yourself in just one of them. You may also ask a pilot from either of Gulf Air, Emirates or Al Jazeera if you disbelieve your twin-mirror combination. And if all else fails, please feel free to contact me! 😉

3. Contact me – but then, I will be me:

Another strange thing that has happened is that I am beginning to get mails, scraps, comments etc from ‘fans’. Some just send a word of appreciation and some others decide to cling on.

I kept getting mails and appreciatory remarks on my blog under an assumed name from one particular “girl”. I was doubly certain that this was one of my prankster male friends, considering I have enough and more. And considering that they have enough and more reasons to retaliate to what I had once pulled on them, this was a very believable surmise until that girl decided to call me in the dead of the night. (Yikes! How exciting!)

When I expected to hear a huge guffaw from the other end, I was surprised to hear a feminine voice! We spoke for a good 30 minutes and she proved me wrong on all of the above surmises. She was a Mallu girl (sigh!) staying in Mumbai and in her second yr yem-bee-yeh 😉

We then began a chatting session and discussed everything under the sun. We had fights, quarrels, make-ups, mud-slinging, praising and all the rest. She was quite a sport but like all girls, wanted to change a few things in me – and those things were precisely the reasons she got friendly with me in the first place. “Sabse alag ho tum ye kehke paas tumhare aaye, Aur kuch din mein tum mein alag sa kuch bhi na usko bhaaye” Very true Saif Ali Khan, very true. 😉

We aren’t on ‘chatting terms’ now because I refused to change. And she in turn has promised me that she will never look at my blog! Well Mallu lady, in my opinion you are missing something considering the search queries elaborated above! 😉

4. Videos – Beauty versus brains

Another surprising thing until recently was with the videos that I have chosen to display on my left-hand side bar. I am a big fan of Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot and David Suchet’s portrayal of Poirot is just perfect. The title track is also a great masterpiece by David Gunning. But I didn’t expect others to be equally crazy about the whole Poirot thing and was surprised when I noticed that the number of views for this video exceeded that of the one containing a very sexy lady!

This has been finally set right and the “natural order” of things has crept back in. 😉

*****************

I was on the verge of writing a befittingly weird conclusion while I accidentally refreshed my blog stats page and Voila! I noticed the weirdest thing in my life. Nothing can beat this. See the pic below for more details – I have expressed my surprise at one of the search strings using 3 red exclamation marks!

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Kudos to you buddy, whoever you are. You have managed to do the weirdest thing anyone could possibly do and have blessed my blog by landing on it. All the Arabs with their camels and beef-infested gold teeth, mallu aunties and their ardent admirers, overweight ladies looking for appreciation, fans chatting with me and demanding a change in my behavior et al pale in comparison to what you have just done. Congratulations, Amma! I am rendered speechless!


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8 thoughts on “My blog – A few weird observations

Add yours

  1. Symonds and Bhajji!!, good for us there are no monkeys involved!

    And congrats on all the hits, gelf, mallu and well rounded all counting!

  2. psst..psst..its not jus the mallu guys searching for “well-rounded” mallu girls… wel..there r others too 🙂 (remember u had forgotten ur pen drive on the hostel first floor cc??)

  3. @ nair-

    Where in my blog have i claimed that it’s “only mallu guys”?

    and man! thank god you saw my pen drive contents – i have lost those pics – please send them to me 😛

  4. Hriday now I guess you don’t have to wreck your brain searching for keywords for ur blog’s SEOs 🙂

    And looking at the Tags of this post I think you already have optimized it for ur potential viewers!! ha ha

    Al habibi… 🙂

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